did you miss me while you were looking for yourself?


portrait/insanity.

question one, define stress.

answer,
OHMYGOSHOHMYFREAKINGGOSH OHMYSHITOHNOFREAKTHISOMGOMGOHMYGOSH.

question two, define school.

answer,
CLASSTESTSCOMMONTESTSCLASSTESTSMIDYEARS CLASSTESTCOMMONTESTSCLASSTESTSENDOFYEARS.

question three, calculate the number of days to end of end of years(including today).

answer, twelve, oh god twelve.

question four, hence, multiply the above three answers to find the present mood/emotion of amanda.

answer, URGH.

school's not one bit great.

the exams arent any better.


anyway, one random doodle on my amath worksheet when i got bored of doing my work in class the other day.



and its time to get back don to mugging my ass off.

finally


anesthesia, painkillers and your sympathy.


haha funny.

you look at the picture up there then you look at the picture down here,


and you think,

oh my god what happened.

she used to be such an adorable little kid. all cute and chubby and i quote,

"so chubby we could roll around"

and now everthing's different.

(except the chubby part maybe. just look at how round my face is getting. i swear i look so round im probably morphing into a balloon being pumped with helium and floating up before i know it. yup, that round.)

everything's different,

including



being surrounded by the boys. HAHA.

so why dont we?


blinds the world. then the show's over.

"breathe, slowly."

emotions times zero.

"it'll hurt a little,"

really all i wanna do right now is scream.

"just a little."

and then,

"its over."

i've got zero details for the above. i think at least some people would figure this out soon enough.

drama queen, haha i can just imagine my friends now. right, sure i am. today i lost my saturday. doing nothing really. at least i repaid my sleep debt which i accumulated over my sleepless (mugging, homework, stoning) nights.

i would have used the word awesome, but then i changed my mind.

sleep is just perfect.

its time to get back down to mugging. now, shall we?

keep up this perfect facade for me, will you?


this is my emo drawing.

emo is way overrated. no, a kid's not emo just cause he or she writes a few emo lines here and there every once in a while.

today amanda's just fine. and still going high over singing songs out loud the whole day through.

one quote today to end my (so short its practically nonexsistent) post:

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

enter emo title here.


"just like you never exsisted"

oh right sure. i could handle this.

as simple as one, two, three. just like you told me. and then you're gone. now all i have to do is learn to stand on my own.

there you go. now you're forgotten. simple.


and the way we live in such perfect perfect irony. makes us crazy. makes us human as well dont you think?

honestly?

haha sheesh im going crazy.



this is eeyore. my eeyore.

everyone bullies it. (just look at all their guilty faces!)

it has no smile on its adorable face. but it makes me smile just looking at it. its my new love.


given to me by this dearest dude up here. this is alex who laughs with me every day in school over nonsensical and extremely lame jokes.


both of them makes me smile til my face hurts.


they are my company when


when i start to pout and whine

they cheer me up and then


they make me so happy i start to bounce all over the place.

and then im no longer an emo kid.

just look at what you're tearing apart.


tongue tied.


rewritten;

what if romeo and juliet was just another suicidal couple? would the world still be so obsessed with love stories that are so intricately intoxicated with insanity?

quit this melodramatic nonsense already.

in the mean time, i need a wall to run into.


got lost back down memory lane on my own.

always; just like you told me.


and run away.


how could you? because you could.

i never thought things out this way before. still nothing kind of makes much sense. i just feel like im going round and round in circles that are never quite ending. oh well, every girl's entitled to a few secrets of her own. shh, the world, the universe, the you, dont need to know.

anyway,

the holidays are here.

wait, scratch that. holiday my ass. like we dont have to be in school every other day for lessons. perfect.

but at least its a break from all this crazy.

yesterday, well sunday, went to celebrate my elder brother's birthday.

met a familiar face and going to see his face again on wednesday for dance.(be honoured i mentioned you in my blog dude. haha.) and i let my sweet tooth indulge in sinful desserts. *drools.






uh huh im not the shortest in the family anymore.


just to end off,

these days there's really nothing to count down to. exams maybe, but it doesnt count. what bright light at the end of the tunnel, there's nothing really to look forward to.

so im taking life one day at a time.

give her time, she'll make it through.